A creatively decorated table sets the tone for a wonderful holiday meal. All it takes is some planning and some imagination. It is not necessary for everything to match. Pick a theme, which could be a favorite color or a season.

 

Knowing table etiquette will increase your comfort and dining enjoyment, especially if your career success depends on making a good impression during a holiday business meal. The rules are easy to learn and cover topics such as how to hold your silverware, how to use your napkin, the proper way to pass food around the table, as well as styles of eating. 

 

THE BASIC PLACE SETTING

Dinnerware

*Dinner plate is in the center between the forks and knives.

*Bread and butter plate is to the left and slightly above the dinner plate

*Salad plate may be placed in the center between the knives and forks or on the left side of the dinner plate above the forks. 

Silverware

*Forks are to the left of the dinner plate

*Dinner fork (the longer fork) is closest to the plate

*Salad (the shorter fork) is to the left of the dinner fork

*Knives and spoons are to the right of the plate

*Knife is closest to the plate with the sharp edge turned toward the plate

*Soup spoon is to the right of the knife

*Butter spreader is placed across the bread and butter plate.

* Forks and spoons for dessert are placed above the dinner plate or brought to the table when dessert is being served. 

Glassware

*Glasses are on the right side of the dinner plate in a row above the knives 

Napkins

*Placed to the left of the salad fork or in the center of the dining plate 

TIPS FOR THE TABLE

Place your napkin in your lap, not in your collar, soon after you are seated. If the napkin is of a large size, leave it folded in half with the fold facing your waist. Use the napkin throughout the meal to blot your lips and sticky hands, especially before picking up your glass. If you leave the table for a short period of time, place your napkin on your chair, not on the table. If any parts of the napkin are soiled, make sure they do not come in contact with the chair. Placing your napkin on your chair serves two purposes: if you are in a restaurant, your server will know that you are returning and will not take your plate and you will keep the tablecloth clean by not putting a soiled item on it. Handbags, cell phones and briefcases are not to be placed on the table before the meal has concluded. At the end of the meal, place your napkin on the left side of the plate. There is no need to neatly fold the napkin. 

Silverware is arranged on the table in the order of courses to be served. Begin using the silverware that is farthest from the plate and work your way in. For example, if salad is being served, the salad fork will be farthest from the plate.

Generally, a salad knife will not be on the table, however, if you need to cut your salad you can ask for a salad knife or use the entrée knife that has been provided.

Silverware that has been used is not placed on the table; it is placed on your plate. 

There are two main styles of handling silverware when eating:  American Style and Continental Style. In the American Style, the fork is in the left hand when cutting food and transferred to the right hand when placing food in your mouth. In the Continental Style, the fork remains in the left hand and the knife in the right hand throughout the meal. Most Americans use the American Style when eating formal or informal meals. 

The Protocol School of Washington, my alma mater, offers the following guidelines for using the American Style of eating:

*Hold the knife in your right hand with your index finger on the handle, overlapping onto the blade a little. This will provide leverage as you cut your food. Hold the fork in your left hand with the tines down on the food as you cut. The fork is at a slight angle not standing straight up like a spear.

*Use a smooth straight movement as you cut your food rather than a sawing back-and-forth motion. Cut one piece at a time. After cutting the food, the knife is laid across the side of the plate with the cutting edge of the blade facing the center of the plate.

* Switch the fork to your right hand before raising it to your mouth. The fork is held the way a pencil is held, between the index finger and the middle finger, except that the thumb is turned up rather than down as when writing.

*When you are talking, drinking or blotting your lips with your napkin, your silverware is on the plate in the rest position which means the knife is across the side of the plate and your fork is in the middle of the plate, with the tines up. This position lets the server know not to remove your plate.

*When you finish the meal, place the fork, with the tines up, and the knife, with the blade facing the center, on the plate with the tips of the knife and fork at 10 on the face of a clock and the handles at 4. This position says to the server I am finished and my plate can be removed. 

In formal dining situations, your server will serve you from the left side and remove your plate from the right. Beverages will be poured from the right side. In less formal situations, you may find yourself passing food to others at the table. Offer some of the food to your neighbor, and then serve yourself. The food is then passed around the table in a counterclockwise direction, i.e. pass the food to the right.

Salt and pepper shakers are always passed together, even if someone only requests one. This practice prevents searching for them if someone requests salt and pepper. 

When you have the privilege of dining in someone’s home (family, friend or business colleague) remember to bring a thoughtful hostess gift and send a handwritten thank you note within the next few days.